our first baby photo!
On Saturday I got a call from the embryologist that really threw me for a loop. He said of the five fertilized embryos, that three had continued to grow and that there were two that were ideal for transfer. If you've been reading for awhile then you know that we've always only transferred one embryo and have only ever considered transferring one embryo, that's just what we have been comfortable with and I never thought that I would even have to make a decision about transferring two, until Saturday...
Although we had three embryos, it sounded like our 3rd embryo may not be the best quality and we might even lose it. Our embryologist, from the beginning recommended us transferring two. He said that we have done the "safe" thing by transferring one embryo three times now and it has not been successful for us. He said we need to seriously consider taking more of a risk if we ever want to be successful. I admit, it was not what I wanted to hear, but I know that in his 31 years of experience, he knows what is best for each patient. And I am paying him and our doctor for exactly that, their experience, they expertise, & their knowledge, for a successful outcome.
So we took a risk. We transferred TWO embryos! It has been one of the scariest and hardest decisions we have ever had to make. I was so sure that Joe was so against it and then when we sat down to talk about it, he said it is time to be more aggressive and we need to transfer two so I agreed. I didn't just agree to agree, I agreed because of many factors, but I think deep down in my heart was the right decision for us. Maybe I was just lying to myself for awhile that it was a bad idea.
The idea of twins scares me and it is not at all what I want for us. As much as we have gone through people might wonder (and probably judge me) on how can I say that, how can I even have an opinion of what I want, I should just take what I can get at this point! But the risks are so much higher with a twin pregnancy, not to mention the financial strain it will certainly put on us after just building a new home and having a relatively large mortgage. There are no guarantees that this transfer will work, there are not guarantees that it will even turn out to be twins, but there is a real chance that it could turn out that way. We know that we can get through anything, together. We have gotten through some extremely trying times in our relationship, just like everyone else has.
When I think about whether or not we made the right decision, I think of this quote:
When I think about whether or not we made the right decision, I think of this quote:
The transfer itself went perfect. We arrived around noon, changed into our hospital gear and got the show on the road. It's about a 10 minute process. They insert a speculum, clean the area with saline, then they place the embryos in a dish, they actually put them up on a big screen TV in the transfer room where were able to see them with our own eyes before they were drawn into the catheter. Once they're drawn into the catheter it's placed and they are inserted back into the womb, they left the catheter in for 1 minute and the doctor said that both embryos placed right where he likes to see them. They drained my bladder with a catheter which hurt worse than the actual transfer itself! Ouch! We were then moved to the recovery room where we stayed for 1 hour and then released to come home. I am on bed rest today and will return to work tomorrow. We will find out in 2 weeks if one or both of our embies decided to stick! Fingers crossed!
I know this is scary but things will turn out exactly as they are meant to. When you are holding your sweet baby in your arms you'll be glad you gave it everything to get there :-) I admit a twin pregnancy was terrifying to me too but like you say I knew we could handle anything together.
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you and really happy that your embryologist really sat down and talked with you about transferring one verses two. Just know that whatever happens you guys will handle it. Fingers crossed for you! Will you be testing early, or waiting for the beta?
ReplyDeletefingers and toes crossed. i'm so so excited for you!
ReplyDeleteOh girl. Praying right now!!! So encouraging to hear! You are brave and amazing and this is just so exciting. PRAYERS!!! xx
ReplyDeleteSending prayers!! I didn't do IVF but did other fertility and I'm currently pregnant with twin boys. I can totally relate because we just bought a new house and everything too. It's so scary. I didn't know how in the world we were going to be able to afford twins- we had less than 7% chance of having twins. If it's meant to be it will be. Things are falling into place and we're so blessed. It's not going to be easy but it's going to be worth it. Praying that something good happens for you guys!
ReplyDeletePrayers that the transfer works!! Even if it is twins (and I can imagine that really is a scare thought), I pray that you all are blessed to become parents and that you will come to love the thought if it happens :)
ReplyDeleteWow. Wow. Wow. So encouraging! It's all getting so real! I totally understand about being nervous of the potential to have multiples and definitely don't judge you one bit. You & Joe know ya'll's situation better than anyone else. It definitely sounds like you are in great medical hands this time around for sure!!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad the transfer went well. I'm sending every good vibe your way!
ReplyDeleteEek, how exciting!!! I can imagine that twins would seem a bit overwhelming, but what a big step forward. Continued thoughts & prayers your way!
ReplyDeleteThat is so exciting. Fingers crossed!
ReplyDeletePraying!!
ReplyDeleteSo awesome Elena! So excited for you! It sounds like a GREAT decision!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so, so excited for you and your husband! I've really enjoyed following along your journey with you, your ability to write about your raw and honest feelings are really admirable. No matter what happens, I know you'll be a great mama! Fingers are crossed!
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed!! So exciting! And I can completely understand why the thought of twins is scary - I think everyone thinks that, no matter the situation. It's overwhelming!
ReplyDeleteprayers and finger crossed!
ReplyDeleteahhh this is so exciting and terrifying. i know what you mean about twins - well, i mean i know about the whole freaking out thing not the whole you've been trying for a really long time and you should be 'happy with what you get' - that's ridiculous btw lol. You have a right to be scared. But if it does turn out to be twins, you'll totally be fine! financially at least. a friend of mine just had twins and the father is not in the picture anymore so she had to do everything on the super super low budget. but of course i know that doesn't help with the whole pregnancy being a higher risk and all that jazz. anyway, i am rambling. 2 weeks. fingers and toes and all the things crossed girl!!
ReplyDeleteI know it was a tough decision to make but I'm glad u both felt comfortable with making the decision to transfer two. Now relax and keep urself busy so the 2ww will fly by. Things will happen as they should and u two will get through it because its meant to be.
ReplyDeleteSo so awesome lady. I can't believe you are PUPO again! I am so excited to hear about the results. An April baby sounds divine!
ReplyDeleteI have my fingers crossed for you. I know it was a tough decision to pursue two embryos, but everything works out for a reason. I just had twins 7 months ago. They are pretty amazing. But yes, it is hard having twins. Hard on the mommy's body carrying them, hard delivery, financial strain and hard work. But if that is God's plan for you, I know you and your husband can handle it. (That is what my husband and I tell ourselves all the time). Thinking of you today and hoping for the best!
ReplyDeleteSo exciting and so terrifying all at the same time! I'll be praying for you and patiently awaiting your 2ww results!
ReplyDeleteBtw... If you do have 2 little miracles, it is normal to panic. Lol not all twin pregnancies are considered high risk and I know you will take excellent care of yourself whether you have 1 or 2 babies growing inside of you!
Good for you guys on making the right decision for you! Good vibes your way--so excited for you guys!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a tough decision, totally understand that. But you are so right, you 2 WILL be able to handle whatever it is that comes your way. You are such a strong women! I'm rooting for you guys in this, you've been on my mind so much! Thanks for sharing your journey with us :)
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of good energy!! x
ReplyDeleteI had to accept my RE's recommendation to transfer 2 with my first transfer. It's so nerve wracking and heartbreaking to you that you really only want one to stick. Hope this brings the sucess you've been waiting for!
ReplyDeleteWonderful!!! Sending lots of prayers! Come on little babe(or babies)!!
ReplyDeleteI want this so so bad for you!! Fingers crossed.
ReplyDeleteSuper excited for you. Fingers crossed and praying for you!!!
ReplyDeletePraying, Praying, Praying! I'm so excited for you!! Come on, sticky babies!!!
ReplyDeleteLena I am thinking of you and hope those babies nestle in because it's time, it's so time, to make you a mama!!! xoxox
ReplyDeleteThis gives me the CHILLS!!!! So exciting and nerve wrecking! I'm praying hard for you and Joe! I know twins would be a struggle, but your right, you can get through anything together! I hope you are still feeling well and taking it easy! Can't wait to hear about your appointment in 2 weeks!
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