I'M PREGNANT!!!

Well, it’s official, I AM PREGNANT!!   Our first beta was yesterday which came in on the very high side at 967!  Lots of people are suggesting a possible embryo split resulting in twins, but I am still hoping for a singleton.  No matter how many babies are in there, it’s a true blessing.  

I was pretty confident it was going to be negative.  The first few days I was feeling really optimistic, thinking, this has to be it, but the last few days I was very crabby and just felt like AF was on her way.  I had cramping from 3dpt pretty heavy through about 8dpt.  After that they started to subside quite a bit but these were like cramps I had never felt before.  They were very intense, not like what I normally experience during my period so I was hopeful it was a good sign of implantation.  I had no spotting at all.  I have had sore boobs this entire time, but that started several days before transfer when we started progesterone injections.  That PIO is the devil as it mimics pregnancy symptoms pretty well.  

I went to the hospital at 6am Monday for my blood draw then headed straight to work to wait for the dreaded call.  I emailed my IVF nurse to tell her that I had my test done & that she would only get my HCG level same day as our local lab cannot process progesterone & estrogen same day.  She said she’d be on the lookout for the results, about 3 hours later at 10am I got the email that changed my life, one like I’ve never received before:

“Congratulations!  It’s good and positive!  Your hcg is 967.  We would like you to repeat it again on Thursday to make sure your levels go up.” 

I seriously had to read it 3 or 4 times before I comprehended what she was saying.  I couldn’t believe the beta was so high!  I immediately called Joe although I knew that he wouldn’t answer being that he works out in the field so I sent him a text with the number & to tell him we were definitely pregnant.  I also sent a message to some of my closest friends & moms, TTC sisters, etc. and I was immediately flooded with phone calls.  Everyone was shocked & so happy.  I ended up taking a half day vacation and left at 10:30 and went over to my friend Jessica’s house.  We went to lunch and to Target, she bought me 2 outfits, one for a boy & one for a girl, and I bought pregnancy tests of course!  We headed over to another friend of ours to hang out for a few hours so that we could all bask in me finally being pregnant! 

I went home and immediately took the pregnancy test.  It’s been close to 3 years since I’ve seen a positive on a pregnancy test and I’ve never seen one on a digital before so it was a true sight to see.  It flashed “pregnant” and then “2-3” and I couldn’t believe it!  I immediately rummaged through my box of baby stuff I have collected to find my “Worth the Wait” onesie from Urban Baby Co and set it out on the counter for Joe to see when he got home.  He didn’t end up getting my message until about 4 hours after I sent it because where they were working had such poor cell service.  He was very excited.  He brought home and orchid (my favorite flower & our wedding flower) and some Reese’s peanut butter cups, so thoughtful of him.  Later on some friends came over with a cigar & a book about whiskey for Joe.  

We decided that we would tell our other family members (like Joe’s other siblings, my aunts, etc. that we are close with) via text since everyone knew we were going through this.  We didn’t really feel like telling people in person was necessary.  If this would’ve been a natural conception it would be a totally different ball game, but I was getting messages all day on Instagram and Facebook of people asking what was going on so we decided to spill the beans right away, especially with our strong beta.  We know that so many things can happen and that we aren’t out of the woods yet, but this is the farthest we’ve ever come by a long shot & we really felt it was a great reason to celebrate.  

We are so so thankful and grateful to everyone for their continued support.  The outpouring of love that we have been receiving with our announcement has just been so overwhelmingly amazing.   We are blessed with the MOST AMAZING support group and I wish I could thank everyone personally who has stuck by us for these 5 long years.  This has been an exhausting journey but we were so determined and never felt like we needed to give up.  We are also beyond grateful for our donor who without her, this would not even be happening right now.  We owe her everything!  We are so excited to embark on this new journey!

Our trip to Georgia & Embryo Transfer!

Well, we did it!  We transferred our first donor egg embryo on Thursday & it is absolutely perfect!  I should back up and start with Wednesday the day we left because it was a doozy.  The entire trip was actually pretty rough for me, but we accomplished what we went down to do and that is all that matters!

Wednesday morning our flight left from Chicago at 6am so we wanted to be on the road by 2.  We got up around 1:30 and made the 1.5 hour drive to Midway.  It poured rain and stormed the entire way there, but luckily at that hour there isn't much traffic to worry about.  We got to the airport, parked, got on the shuttle, and got quickly in line to check our bags.  Joe and I were talking about how our licenses had very outdated addresses on them and that we probably needed to update them.  I noticed shortly after that conversation that mine was actually expired!  As of my 30th birthday just a week prior, and I had no idea.  Luckily we made it through airport security without anyone noticing.  

We got on the plane and the flight was really quick, about 1.5 hours.  I had a second cup of bold Starbucks coffee on the plane which I knew was probably a bad idea but I needed some energy if I was going to make it through the day.  We picked up our rental car and drove the 2.5 hours to Augusta from Atlanta.  The whole car ride I felt terrible.  My stomach was really distended and I was just feeling horrible.  I was in tears by the end of it & we really were hoping we would be able to check into our hotel early.  We arrived by noon and check in wasn't until 3, but the lady at the desk could visibly see that I was a wreck.  She worked on getting us a room and Joe and I went to Target so that I could get some meds.  I wanted activated charcoal but they didn't have it so I tried Gas-X hoping that would relieve my bloat.  We sat in the car for around 30 minutes and there was no relief.

We headed to Urgent Care where I continued to get progressively worse.  I had never had such bad pain in my stomach before, I could hardly walk, and my left side was just in excruciating pain.  The doc at the Urgent Care wasn't able to do much but prescribe me an antacid for a possible ulcer (being on 81mg aspirin for this IVF cycle he thought that was the culprit) which I started taking right away. We got back to the hotel around 2 and they had a room ready & we went to lay down and nap.  I woke up feeling worse and was doubled over in pain so we went to the ER.  I was so afraid that my transfer was going to be cancelled and we just really wanted to make sure that it wasn't something serious like a burst appendix.  

We waited in the ER waiting room for 3 hours before they took me back.  Joe was so upset because of the wait and how much pain I was in.  Luckily once we got back to a room they started working on me right away.  They had already done blood work which all came back fine except for low white blood cell count.  They took me back instantly for a CT scan which ended up showing that I had severe inflammation and constipation.  I had gone to the bathroom earlier in the day so I wasn't really sure why it was so bad, but it was terrible.  They wanted to give me magnesium to relieve it but they also wanted to do a vaginal ultrasound to make sure my ovaries were ok seeing as how we were supposed to have our transfer the next day, they were very sympathetic to that part of our situation which I really appreciated.

They ended up putting me on IV fluids & gave me morphine for the pain.  I had the ultrasound which came back fine & then within literally seconds of taking just sips of the 10oz of magnesium, I felt better.  We were in the ER a total of 8 hours and had been up for 24 hours by the time we were released.  I felt so much better though and I was cleared for transfer!


Thursday morning was our transfer at 10am.  We checked in and were greeted by the embryologist who told us that we had 5 "perfect" embryos.  We decided to transfer our best quality embryo and freeze the other 4.  The transfer went fine, and by the end we were told we might even have 5 frozen!  We were both very happy with the results of this cycle & I don't think I've ever had an embryo transferred as perfect as the one pictured above.  This is a 4AA top graded 5-day blastocyst and I think our chances of this little guy implanting are pretty darn good!


After the transfer we went back to the room and watched movies and took long naps, that evening we met up with Amy and her husband and their son Max for dinner at House of Beer.  Obviously I couldn't partake in any beer drinking, but we had a yummy dinner and it was great to see them again.  We were supposed to get together Wednesday but since we spent our entire night in the ER we had to cancel.  Friday we spent the day resting and then a kid-free dinner with Amy and her husband.  We ended up going to Rae's Costal Café and then headed downtown to the Boll Weevil for after dinner drinks and amazing desserts.  They had tons of cakes and pies to choose from.  I ended up with a huge piece of lemon cake with a raspberry sauce, it was soo good! 


We had to be up at 4am to make it to Atlanta for our flight home so we called it a night & said our goodbyes to Amy and Allen.  Our trip home went smooth and we were back by 1:30 on Saturday so we were able to rest and relax the rest of the afternoon.  I was so happy that we didn't have any hiccups on the way back.  Although I was sick most of the trip (fought a terrible headache on Friday too) the day that was supposed to go well, went perfect and now we wait for our test to hopefully come back positive!  Thank you all for your continued love and support, fingers & toes crossed for some good news soon!

Donor Retrieval & Fertilization Report

Happy Monday!  I am still in shock by how quickly this cycle is flying by!  I remember just a short few weeks ago I had so much worry that we may not even by cycling this month, now we are just a few hours away from leaving for Georgia! 

On Wednesday at Amy’s monitoring appointment Dr. Servy gave Amy the option to retrieve Friday or Saturday with Saturday being the better day & giving us a better chance of retrieving more mature eggs than we would on Friday.  Amy is a nurse and has a very set schedule & does not get paid if she has to call in.  She had used most of her vacation time for her family trip they had taken right before our cycle and Friday was her scheduled day off so we were really hoping to get her in on Friday.  She made the decision to have the retrieval on Saturday & had to call in to work and miss a day of pay.  Bless her heart!

So Saturday morning she was to be at the doctor’s office by 8:15 to meet with anesthesia and prep for surgery.  She was constantly updating me & if you’ve been through IVF then you know that retrieval only takes about 20 minutes total so I had heard back from her pretty quickly that they had retrieved TEN eggs!  I was very happy with this number.  My hope was 12, but I know that it’s quality over quantity and was totally satisfied with this number.  Amy said that she was feeling good and was going to take it easy the rest of the afternoon.  I was happy that her part of this cycle was over & she could finally relax and recover from the stims & the retrieval.  It’s so much to put your body through, especially for another person!  Thank you Amy!

The day after retrieval is considered day 1 and that’s usually the day you receive your fertilization report.  I was pretty anxious in the morning while I awaited the call, but I was also recovering from a slight hangover from my birthday party the night before.  We had about 30 people over Saturday night to celebrate my big 3-0 and it was such a blast!  It was a Happy Camper themed party and it turned out so cute & we had such a blast!  Thank you to everyone who came to help me ring in this new decade & to my best friend & husband who organized it all!

By noon I was starving and I still hadn’t heard from the doctor so Joe and I jumped on the bike and took a nice ride and went for lunch.  I was still pretty anxious that I hadn’t heard but I figured, every clinic is different, maybe they don’t make Sunday calls, maybe it’s different with donor eggs, etc. etc. trying to come up with reasons as to why I hadn’t heard.  Before we got back on the bike to head home I sent an email to my IVF nurse coordinator asking her for an update if she had one.  I hated to bother her on a Sunday, but I figured it was the only way I’d be able to find out. 

We got home & relaxed and watched movies the rest of the evening.  I was getting texts from lots of people asking for an update and I was as clueless as they were at that point & figured it’s a Sunday, there is nothing I can do.  Joe and I had just headed to bed & were getting ready to do my PIO injection for the night when I got an email back from my nurse saying that EIGHT of our TEN had fertilized and were doing great!  I was thrilled!  This is definitely the best fert report we have ever received. 

We will get another update on Tuesday with transfer on Thursday!  Our flight leaves Wednesday bright and early at 6am so we will be heading for Chicago around 2am.  I’m very excited to spend a few days down in Georgia with Amy and her family.  We have dinner plans & I booked a hotel with an outdoor pool so that my day of “bed rest” I can at least work on my tan!  Most importantly we will have another baby on board and we hope that this one finally decides to stick around.  At this point we are set on transferring one embryo, but that could of course change depending on how many we end up with by Thursday.  I am very confident we will have around 5 or so blastocysts by Thursday which leaves us plenty of siblings to freeze for now.  As always I appreciate the continued support that we have received from everyone as we navigate this new journey.  Continuing with the positive thoughts and vibes that our embryos continue to grow and thrive!

THIRTY

Today is my 30^th birthday.  If you would’ve asked me 10 years ago what I thought about 30, I would’ve probably said that 30 is old, but today, I know that it isn’t.  I remember thinking that 30 was such an adult age and that I’d probably be married, have kids, have a job, have a house, etc. and I do have most of those things so I guess I’m on the right track, not that there is a “right” track, but on what I thought my track would be.

The decade spanning my twenties consisted of SO MUCH!  When I think back on it I am very thankful that I am not where I was when I was 20 because I was a hot mess on the verge of probably jail or death.  Luckily by 21 I was a renewed soul with a renewed purpose in a healthy relationship with a strong man & had rebuilt other important relationships and closed doors on the toxic people, places, things that were dragging me down into an abyss of dangerous behaviors and habits. 

I’ve learned an absolute infinite amount about love, life, relationships, myself, my job, health, and so much more these last 10 years.  There have been some truly blissful and amazing moments and memories, and there have been some terrible, horrible, no good very bad moments and memories too, but they have helped shape me into the person I am today, that is a person I LOVE.  Yes, I can 100% say that I love myself for who I am, I believe in my authenticity & I accept that not everyone in the world will.  I have my own set of convictions that are the foundation for who I am.  I am not perfect in any way, shape, or form.  I have flaws, I have imperfections, & things I wish I did or liked or what have you, but I accept all of those things and believe that they make me, me. 

I am a VERY strong Type A, I love having control over everything, a very tidy house, desk, car, etc., I am a realist, and usually I am the voice of reason.  It’s not something I do intentionally, it is who I am.  Sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me about situations, but I also do know how to let loose and have a good time.  I have some street-cred that stems from some life choices that I was making that I am not proud of, but also that I do not regret.  I am who I am today because of the things I did yesterday.  At the same time, I do not live in the past, I forgive very easily (sometimes too easily) and I just want to get along with and love everyone.  I understand now (after a lot of learning about this) that there are many people that aren’t like this.  I don’t hold a grudge for more than like 5 seconds.  I have a ton of energy but I can also easily rope it in and be relaxed and lazy.  I consider myself to be very eclectic, I don’t identify with or as a single group (like a hippy or a nerd) I fall into many categories and I think it’s pretty amazing.  I’m a raver and an old school rapper at heart, but I am also very professional and take my job very seriously.  I like to take care of people, my husband especially, and he truly does appreciate the things that I do for him & vice versa.  I still turn to my mom for answers to pretty much everything, and probably always will! 

I love my home, like I’m obsessed with it, it’s so beautiful & I’m so proud to say that WE built that house & made it what it is.  I love to camp, I love being on the back of the Harley with my husband even if it’s only for 10 minutes to go down the street, it’s one of my favorite places in the world.  I love jewelry, especially turquoise and any kind of quartz or agate, I have a slight obsession.  I am constantly messing with my nails and my cuticles and my fingers are just awful, I love a fountain cherry Coke, I would eat pizza every day or a Reese’s peanut butter cup (which I actually do).  I am very reliable and ALWAYS on time (except when I’m with my husband or Jessica then we are always late).  I love wine and beer.  I give good advice and people vent to me a lot.  I’m always freezing.  I communicate better through written word than spoken word.  And really, there is so much more…

When I was 20 the most important things were drastically different than they are now.  At 30, it’s family, friends, health, a job, and HAPPINESS.  I’ve learned that family is a term that is defined by each person in their own way.  I consider my best friends to be part of my family too, because they have been there for me at my worst & seen me at my most vulnerable, that’s what I consider to be family.  I’ve learned that EVERY family has dysfunction to some degree, some more than others, but EVERYONE has it. 

Happiness and health are more valuable than anything that money can buy.  With so many people suffering from depression, committing suicide, being diagnosed with cancer and other life threatening or debilitating diseases, having true happiness and good health is something I am thankful for every single day.  Yes, I suffer from infertility, but that pales in comparison to the suffering that I have seen in my life time.  No price can be put on either of those things.

I know how important it is to count my blessings on a regular basis.  When we are in our early twenties we take many things for granted and believe we are invincible, but the older we get the older we realize how lucky we are to have the things we do, everyday things like a meal on the table or a cup of coffee, clean drinking water, a roof over our heads, to big things like our freedom.  It’s being grateful and thankful for these things that make us truly place value on the precious gift of life that we have been given.

I know I got deep with this, and that 30 really is just a number.  I talk to my 87 year old grandma and she says she’s going into her 90’s but feels like she’s in her 30’s still, but it is a pretty big milestone & I felt compelled to document this, if for no one else but myself.  My twenties were a time I will never forget, but I am so happy to be moving into this next phase of my life.  I am constantly evolving, finding new things I like, things I want to try, places I want to go, people I want to meet, and becoming more and more myself each day.  I don’t believe there is ever a stopping point to becoming WHO we are. 

I am very thankful to be spending another amazing birthday on this planet.  I am so thankful for my wonderful husband and our marriage, going on 5 years of wedded bliss and there is no one else I’d rather spend this life with.  My family and friends, I have so much love and support from all of you and I consider myself pretty lucky to be so close my family and to Joe’s family.  My fur-baby Frank who seriously makes my heart just burst with love on a daily basis (and I guess my cat too).  All of my TTC sisters and the amazing community of love and support that we are able to share, I couldn’t ask to be a part of anything better. My amazing donor (who I also consider a friend) who deserves her very own shout-out because she is giving us the most precious gift, the gift of life!  Amy, you rock!  I am so blessed & have seriously the BEST TRIBE of people in my life that I choose to surround myself with and I am so thankful for all of you for you all breathe life into me every single day.   

Oh & P.S., I chopped my hair...

Donor Started STIMS!!!

Well, a lot of things have happened since my last post & they’ve happened VERY quickly!  If you missed it, a week or so ago we were in a bit of a panic as my donor had some mid-cycle ovulation bleeding and we weren’t sure if her period was going to come as scheduled.  We are always at the mercy of our bodies and have no control over what goes on in there.  I was really beginning to think the universe was telling me that I am not mean to be a parent, plus I was on my dot at the time so emotions were just really running rampant.

 

On Thursday the IVF nurse coordinator emailed Amy & told her that she would need to come in for a blood draw ASAP to test for pregnancy and see what was going on, she was still going to be on her vacation until Saturday so I told her to plan on going in Tuesday for blood work.  On Saturday she texted me to tell me she was cramping and spotting, great signs!  By Sunday it was a full flow & all of our excitement came back as we knew we’d be able to keep our plan for a June cycle.  I felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. 

 

Amy emailed our nurse to tell her her period had come & they already had her starting stims yesterday!  I couldn’t believe how fast things were moving along!  I got an email from the nurse telling me to start my meds as well as of today.  I am on 2 Estradiol pills x day, 1 prenatal, and 1 baby aspirin.  Amy is on 100iu of Gonal and 75iu of Menopur 1x day for now.  She also starts baby aspirin and was monitored today with 11 & 12 follicles already.  She will continue on the 100 Gonal/75 Menopur & goes back for her next monitoring appointment on Sunday with expected retrieval FRIDAY the 10^TH!  I expect my transfer to be in exactly 2 weeks!  AHHHHH!!!

 

Things are happening so quickly I can’t even really wrap my head around it yet.  We have lots of arrangements to make like flights, hotels, rental vehicles; arrangements for our animals have been made which is one big thing to check off the list!  We have a garage sale to get through this weekend and next weekend is my big DIRTY THIRTY birthday party, although we will be cutting it majorly close to our day of travel so hopefully that all works out OK.  With Amy’s retrieval being set for Friday, we will more than likely be leaving on Monday the 13^th.  A 5-day transfer would be the 15^th so that is exactly 2 weeks from TODAY!

 

I really appreciate sticking around for the long haul and following us on this journey, it was never the path I ever dreamed of taking, but we are here and we are so thankful to be where we are today.  Things are very quickly falling into place and we have such a great feeling about this chapter of our lives!  I will continue to update as we find things out.