Baseline Ultrasound Update

Love this quote so much because it's so true.  We have made sacrifices, and we have done things we never thought we'd have to do, to get where we are today, and we still aren't exactly where we want to be, but we are getting so close. 

Everything went perfect at our baseline ultrasound appointment.  Things looked good and it was probably the fastest ultrasound that I've had so far.  We got our medication schedule and are set to start injections on Sunday, 100mg in the AM and 100mg in the PM until next Thursday the 3rd when I go back for my follow up ultrasound.  I'm not really worried at all about my response to the FSH.  I used the lowest dose, (75mg) once a day for five days and I ended up with 22 follicles, so I'm sure with a bigger dose twice a day, I should have plenty of eggs to fertilize. 

One thing that we had done that is offered to patients who have had a miscarriage is blood testing to check for different diseases.  Two of the seven tests are genetic tests and one of my tests came back positive as a carrier of Cystic Fibrosis.  I don't have anyone in my family with any form of Cystic Fibrosis, but I am a carrier.  The next step is having Joe tested.  We both had our blood drawn again at the appointment.  We are hoping that Joe is not a carrier.  If he is then our embryos will have to be sent off to a genetics lab after three days of growth where they will test them for the same mutation.  The positive side is that this testing can be done and we can eliminate any embryos that are also carriers.  We are hopeful that Joe IS NOT a carrier in which case we won't have to do any further testing.  It was a little scary getting this news.  Of course I took right to WebMD and found that if both the father and the mother are carriers then there is a 25% the baby will have it, there is a 25% chance it won't have it, and there is a 50% chance that the baby will also be a carrier.  So fingers crossed that Joe comes back clean!  I will be sure to update as soon as we find out.

Just like seeing the building of our forever home finally become a reality, this too is such a surreal feeling.  I can't believe how close we are to getting that BFP.  I am so hopeful and am going to be as positive as possible.  I know that if it were to end up negative I would be let down very hard, but I just don't feel like being cautiously optimistic, I feel like being certain that this will work. 

Friday Favorites

First of all, I need to apologize for my absence this week.  Did any of you have issues with you Blogger Dashboard only showing one post rather than all of the posts from the blogs you follow?  Well mine was like that so it was really hard to keep up on everyone, unless I follow you on Bloglovin' so I'm sorry for the lack of comments!

This was me trying to figure out where all my blogs went!

Second, this was a whirlwind week.  Monday was supposed to be foundation excavation which turned into tree removal, Tuesday was work, Wednesday was travel for work all day, luckily Thursday and today I am off, well rested, de-stressed, and ready to rock and roll!

Favorite Moment: Seriously, 

I have 3 this week!  If you follow me on Instagram then you saw the majority of my happiness, and you probably saw my post about not apologizing for my happiness.  If I come off as sharing too much or being too happy, umm, #sorrynotsorry I refuse to be apologetic for being a happy and positive person & loving my life & sharing my life with all of you!  So... #1, our foundation was dug on Tuesday and it was so surreal!  I can't believe we have finally come to this point!  Next week will start actual construction of the house!  Tuesday just happened to be an awesome day because I also got my dream catcher/lotus flower tattoo and I'm so happy with it.  I have an appointment to finish it next Thursday the 3rd so be on the look out for the final product!  And last, today is our baseline ultrasound!  We are finally in the home stretch of starting this IVF cycle.  I will be starting medication any day now, maybe even tomorrow.  I will be sure to do a follow-up post of the outcome of the appointment and our plan going forward! 

Favorite Pin:

This will be my kid.

Favorite Quote:

Original minds don't always create new ideas, but take existing ideas and make them into

something new.

Favorite Online Purchase:

Yeah, I'm back at it again... I couldn't resist this adorable dress from The Mint Julep Boutique originally shared by Allison @ Texas Mrs.

wouldn't this just be adorable with a little bump underneath? <3

Favorite thing I'm looking forward to:

Again, a couple things, one is starting the medication for this IVF cycle, as soon as that happens, things will start to feel really real.  Getting my tattoo finished & the upcoming 4th of July weekend.  My 3 best friends and I have brunch planned, some pool time, a couple cocktails, some baby cuddling, and some good bonding time over the next week when everyone is in town & I can't wait.  Pumped for fireworks shows & maybe a few trips on the bike, I hate to say it, but I hope they will be my last for awhile. 

 Last year's 4th of July celebrations!  

Favorite Funnies:

Happy weekend lovely ladies!! 

Don't forget to enter the $200 Sephora gift card giveaway!

 Win $200 to Sephora!

Jordyn : The Fairy Princess Diaries //  Elena : Baby Ridley Bump // Lauren : Lot 48

Nicole : Just The Elevator Pitch // Macy : To Travel & Beyond // Heather : When You're Making Plans // Karli : September FARM

Jamie : The Growing Up Diaries // Janna : Perception is Everything // Emily : Designs by Emily F // Helene : Helene in Between

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$200 Sephora Gift Card June Giveaway!!

 Win $200 to Sephora!

Jordyn : The Fairy Princess Diaries //  Elena : Baby Ridley Bump // Lauren : Lot 48

Nicole : Just The Elevator Pitch // Macy : To Travel & Beyond // Heather : When You're Making Plans // Karli : September FARM

Jamie : The Growing Up Diaries // Janna : Perception is Everything // Emily : Designs by Emily F // Helene : Helene in Between

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Weekend Recap

Happy Monday everyone!  I'm actually off work today since we are starting to DIG OUR FOUNDATION for our build!  I can't believe it!! Such an exciting day!  We have been watching the weather very closely since they've been calling for a 90% chance of rain, but it looks like they've taken that down to a 40% chance so we should still be good to go.

I'll be honest, this was an exhausting weekend.  It was Joe's birthday weekend and we crammed a lot into just a couple of days.  It just goes to show that we can still hang, it just takes longer to recover.  

Friday I came home from after getting a facial and then going to do a wine taste with my bestie and my mom to find a HUGE package waiting on the step.  It was all of my IVF medicine and to say I was overwhelmed is a bit of an understatement.  Especially after two glasses of wine, I was a tad emotional, but I am ready to start this journey and kick infertility's ass!

Friday night we went to dinner to kick off Joe's birthday weekend.  We went to our favorite restaurant in town, Bartley's.  We always get the same drinks, the same meal, & I hope one day we have our own table that we sit at every time.  If we want to go out on a date or have a nicer meal, 95% of the time we go to Bartley's.  It was an amazing meal as always.  I get the 8oz. filet with a side of alfredo and Joe gets the crab stuffed shrimp alfredo or just the shrimp alfredo every time we go.  

After dinner we headed out to one of our favorite bars, Docs.  It's one of my favorite places because I can get my ghetto booty shake on there & I love going to visit Amy, one of the sweet bartenders and a chick I went to high school with.  Jessica and Mike met us out and we had a great time.  We called it quits around 11 since we had to get up at 5AM Saturday for the Freedom Run.

The alarm went off bright and early and we got ready to do the annual Freedom Run.  The Freedom Run is a motorcycle ride that honors the fallen troops of the Middle Eastern Conflicts.  We take about an hour ride and end up in a town where there is a memorial with all of the names of the fallen soldiers.  This is a huge event in our community.  Mothers of the fallen come from all over the US and read the names off of the wall. It takes about 2 hours for the over 4,000+ names to be read.  It's one of my favorite events to participate in each year.  There were thousands of bikes, and thousands of people who came out to stand for those who stood for us. 

After the Freedom Run we had a pool party to attend, which unfortunately was cut short by the weather that was rolling in.  We were so exhausted by this point.  For the majority of the day Saturday the sun was out and it was HOT.  Close to 90 degrees and we were out in it pretty much all day.  Thankfully I worse SPF 50 and reapplied frequently otherwise I would've been a lobster.  We didn't have much time to rest before we had to leave to head an hour out of town to watch our friends band play.  I had no real desire to go by the time we actually did leave, but we had to go and support our friend.  It turned out to be a lot of fun.  I didn't drink because all I wanted was a really good night of sleep and if I drink too much I never sleep good. We didn't get home until about 2:45 so it was a realllllllllly long day.  Almost went for a full 24 hours. Haven't done anything like that in years!

this is exactly what happened when I got home.  I'm luck I made it to the bed.

On Sunday which was Joe's actual birth date, we slept in, had coffee, watched some TV then he was off to the property for the day.  I ended up grocery shopping, lunching, and pampering with my mom for the afternoon who leaves for Germany today.  I decided to try a no-chip manicure again to see if it will help me curb my habit of picking at my nails all the time.  I spent the rest of the afternoon in bed with Frankie watching TV and catching up on blogs.  I was still feeling like the above gif.  We went for dinner with Joe's parents then came home to watch Lone Survivor.  It was such a great movie, but horrifying at the same time. I am always just amazed to see what our military have to endure for the freedoms of our country and I have so much respect for them, even more after watching that movie. I highly recommend it, but just remember the title is Lone Survivor so you should know right away what the outcome is.  

Hope everyone has a fabulous week.  Follow me on Instagram to see pictures from today's dig!

Friday Favorites

Wow!! Are the days just flying by or what?!  This week I actually posted 4 out of 5 week days,

the only day I didn't have a post was Tuesday.  It's a lot of work to do that much blogging so props to those of you who can pull it off on the reg like that!  

Favorite Moment:

Ok, we were supposed to have our hole dug this week, but because Illinois weather is LAAAMMME, we had to push it off til Monday.  So this coming Monday, be on the lookout on my Instagram for all kinds of fab photos of me poppin' bottles while I watch the guys dig this hole!

this is how it will look in my head... 

and this is how it will really look...

Favorite Pin:

Ok, favorite pin gets moved up this week because this just sounds FAB! And I want one now before I get pregnant & forget about this recipe in 9 months.  Yeah, that's raspberry limoncello prosecco, all of my favorite flavors in one!

Favorite thing I'm looking forward to:

It's Joe's birthday weekend!!  He pretty much already knows what he's getting because he asked for one awhile ago.  I had a tough time finding it because they really aren't that popular anymore.  A video camera is what he asked me for.  It will be great documenting the house building and hopefully some pregnancy and baby videos in the future too. Tonight we are going to our favorite restaurant in town, Bartley's to celebrate.  I'm also looking forward to 3 WEEKS from today, or target egg retrieval day.  Can you guys believe how fast these 3 months have gone by?!  We got our IVF news on Friday April 11th & our ER is scheduled for July 11th, exactly 3 moths away from that devastating appointment!

happy birthday to this guy, the love of my life! can't wait to see what this next year has in store for us!

Favorite Song:

Snoop Dogg does no wrong... Loving this Wiggle song by Snoop and Jason Derulo

Favorite Quote:

be as positive and happy as you want to be!  who cares what others think about what you do with your life & where your happiness comes from!

Favorite Funnies:

#befearless

First of all, a huge thank you to Liz @ Fitness Blondie for this amazing link up and a huge congrats to her for her recent accomplishment of becoming a contributing blogger to Huffington Post! How awesome is that?! Liz is a true inspiration. She is one of the most raw and honest bloggers I have ever come across and I often think of her when I’m writing my own posts because I strive to be as real about our journey as she is about her own. She always shares awesome recipes; her giveaways are da bomb, seriously, Quest Bars! Plus she shares her work out plan and her meal planning tips so that her readers can see what she does to be successful. Thanks so much again Liz, you are a true inspiration.

As soon as I saw her post on Instagram about this link-up I was game. It’s been awhile since I’ve had much to talk about regarding our journey since we are in a little bit of a lull right now so I’ve been itching for something to really dig down and open up about, this is the perfect opportunity.

If you’re living in the world of infertility, you really don’t have a choice but to live fearless. There is so much unknown that if you were to not live fearlessly, I don’t know that you’d make it. It is not for the faint-hearted. If you are faint-hearted, you will quickly learn to change, your skin will toughen, you will grow stronger, and you will fight a battle that will challenge you every single day.

When I reflect back on our journey from the beginning back in October of 2013 when we were first referred to an RE, I had NO IDEA how much strength and determination it would take to overcome this battle, and I’m still fighting. This isn’t over for me, but I’m taking steps every day to beat this. I can go into a doctor’s appointment, sometimes without my husband, and get handed devastating news, I can have my blood drawn on the reg, I can bruise, I can take an IV like a champ, I can give myself injections like it’s nobody’s business. I have to live fearless because there is nothing I wouldn’t do to have a child, and for us, natural conception just isn’t an option. My option is tons of medication, sperm in a cup, eggs in a needle, embryo made in a lab, and shots in the butt.

My husband and I live fearless for each other. There will always be a time where that is tested. Tears, anger, and heartache are inevitable on this journey, but the foundation of our relationship is strong and only grows stronger every day. Some days I need the strength and the fearlessness of my husband in order to get through. His optimism and willingness to do whatever we need to do is amazing. We’ve learned not to fight against it, not to fight the process, but embrace it and do whatever we have to do, hands down; four separate shots a day, let’s do it, thousands of dollars (even with insurance) for the procedure and medication, where do I sign? There is no place for fear in the world of infertility.

Being in the blogging & TTC community I have met some of the most fearless women I will probably ever meet & I am constantly inspired by their strength, determination, and how they all seem to live fearless as well. None of us were asked if we wanted to go through this. We didn’t decide that our bodies wouldn’t allow for natural conception. We didn’t raise our hands and volunteer to have dysfunctional reproductive organs, but like the serenity prayer says, we have to accept the things we cannot change. By accepting them, we will successfully be able to deal with them. Not all of us will be blessed with a child of our own. Talk about fearless! How hard is it to not fear that we might not have our own child? It is tough, but we don’t, we don’t fear it, we try our damndest to prove that notion wrong.

Some days I am thankful that this was the card I was dealt. That may seem strange, but it has made me a completely different person, it’s changed me, it’s strengthened me, and I’ve proved to myself how much I can do and how much I can handle. It’s fortified my marriage, it’s bonded me with so many wonderful women, and it’s helped my relationships with my friends and family too. I will continue to live fearless every day to ensure that the outcome of this journey is a successful one.

#9TO5TOTALSOCIAL

Super pumped for this link-up.  Always look forward to something different in the world of linking-up.  Thank you to the gracious hosts Helene  and Sarah

I definitely do not have the most glamorous or interesting job in the world, but I love what I do.  I work for an electric and gas utility company.  We’re the people that you call a power outage or a gas leak into.  I work in the office there and have been there for six years this year.  I started about 3 months out of college.  When I graduated college with a degree in English I never thought I would end up at a utility company.  I thought I would end up at a newspaper of publishing company.  My uncle who is a lineman here told me that there was a meter reader position opening up so I decided to apply.   What I really wanted was the office job position that was open, but the application had already closed online.  Luckily I was able to get my application moved from the meter reader pool to the OSR pool.  I got the job & started September of 2008.

They call us OSR’s or Operations Support Representatives, a really lengthy, completely unnecessary term for clerical.  There are four of us in the office, the longest running has been here for 43 years, I’m the one with the least seniority, but it doesn’t make too much of a difference.  We are union employees represented by the IBEW (International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers).  Because of this we get great pay, paid vacations & holidays, and really good benefits.  This is a lifelong job that rarely ever has openings.  This job has been a huge blessing for me and for Joe.  I have my own office rather than a cubicle, a little coffee station with my Keurig, & the best hours; 6:30-3:00 which I love because I am off so early I still have time to get errands ran, work out, go to my aunts pool in the summer, etc.  This is also how I manage my blogging.  I have ample time each day after work to work on drafts & posts.  If I think of something at work that I want to write about or I have a thought in my head, I will make a note in my phone or email myself the idea so that I don’t forget it. 

my coffee station at work 

During my day I do a lot of different things.  I mostly help my co-workers, the meter readers, the lineman, the gas guys, with their orders, working them on the computer, or if they have issues, questions about an account, etc. they call me.  I spend about 30% of my day on the phone.  We are not open to the public so we don’t do much customer service here. I do things like payroll, job scheduling, overtime, lots of reporting, and lots of paperwork.  Our office is generally pretty quiet, & mostly drama-free.  I have a pretty good group of co-workers and definitely have no plans of ever leaving this company.

I am very active in our Division which includes my office in La Salle, 2 other northern offices, and several offices in Peoria.  I love working with and meeting new people throughout our division and throughout Illinois and Missouri which are the two states that we serve.  My goal is to one day advance to management.  I came close a few months ago which you can read about here.  I’m hoping that a successful round of IVF which will aid in my ability to advance with the company, but I am completely content with where I am today with my job and have no qualms about my current work situation.  

Couting my Blessings.

My girl Melina over at A Life Without Mofongo did this last week and I thought I needed to do one too. It’s been awhile since I’ve really counted the blessings in my life & I believe it’s so important to acknowledge them every once in awhile! 

One. A job & insurance coverage.

Although our economy has bounced back since 2009 when things really took a turn for the worse, there are still so many unemployed people out there struggling. I am so thankful for my job, and with that come benefits. Rarely do I come across women in the TTC world with infertility treatment coverage. I consider myself to be more than blessed to have this coverage. I’m not sure if we would be able to afford an IVF cycle at this time without it since we are building a house right now too. So to whoever made the decision to allow Ameren contract employees to have infertility treatment coverage, I want to hug you.

Two. A really hardworking husband.

My husband is one of the hardest working people I know. He works his ass of every day, comes home COVERD in mud and sometimes really unpleasant filth from septic repairs. Some nights he doesn’t get home until 8 pm and barely has time to eat dinner, shower, and relax before having to go to bed to get up early and do it again 6 days a week. Not only does he work a full time job, he is also going to be building our house. He has built his own chopper and can fix just about anything whether it is mechanical or otherwise. If he’s not sure how to fix it, he will take the time to learn. It will be a big challenge for him to juggle work, house building, and a hopefully pregnant wife, but I know he will be able to do it.

Three. My parents.

Bless their hearts for taking us in and letting us use all of their utilities, live in their basement rent-free, bring our dog into a house where a dog has never lived, and so much more. We have been there for almost 2 months and have not even started building yet. We know we still have a long road ahead living in their basement. We owe them so much for their generosity of letting us crash with them until we are ready.

Four. Modern medicine.

Let’s face it, we owe a lot to the nurses, doctors, and researchers of the medical world. Although there is not a cure for everything, and not everyone survives, or has a successful outcome to what it is they are being treated for, there are so many possibilities in the world of modern medicine. For me, after our accident was the really the first time I was able to see those possibilities. With five broken bones in my leg and a badly damaged PCL tendon and tibial plateau, I was skeptical about making a full recovery, but I have. And now on our journey to have a baby, we are narrowing down the days to where what natural conception does for most, a doctor a laboratory, and an embryologist will do for us.

Five. My true friends.

True and authentic friendships are hard to come by, but I’m lucky enough to have a few very best friends in my life who I am eternally grateful for. They know who they are, and they know what they’ve done for me & that I would do anything for them. We are all at different stages of our lives and don’t get to be together as often as we would like, but we always try to find time, even if it’s just for a quick dinner. Many people say that friendships aren’t based on the length of time that you’ve been friends, and I agree, it doesn’t really determine the quality of a friendship, but I believe the more memories and the more time spent, and the more you really know about a person, the stronger your friendship. These girls have all been in my life for lots of years, from Kindergarten to grade school & that does say something about our friendship. We have all really been through thick and thin, really good and really bad times, and no one can break that bond. Try to, I dare ya! ;-)

Six. The TTC community.

Where would I be without it!? Lost and alone I’m sure. Between blogs and Instagram, and any form of social media that has expanded my TTC community, there are SO MANY of us out there & the love and support is just incredible, that’s an understatement! I’ve made some wonderful friends and been inspired by so many women who have been through struggles that mine will never compare to ,that are stronger than I will ever be, you all ROCK! I’m so thankful that this blog has taken me to the places it has. I will be eternally grateful for this community.

Seven. The little things.

As always, we have to be thankful for the little things that make life extra wonderful. A perfect cup of coffee in the morning, a favorite song, a fresh manicure, our pets, a cocktail on a Friday afternoon, a favorite pair of jeans, a favorite pair of yoga pants, a favorite product, fresh highlights, holding hands, a good book or movie. All things that we can certainly live without, but it would suck to have to!