Sleep Training Progress & Success

I want to give a little disclaimer with this as I usually do with these types of post topics.  I am referring to this as "sleep training" however I know that term typically gets associated with the cry it out (CIO) method and this simply is NOT any form of CIO.  We do not leave Georgia unattended to cry for lengthy periods of time.  The longest we let her cry was 2 minute intervals and I was right next to her when we did this.  This is just our personal preference.

In my last post I discussed how our sleep struggles started; what our habits and routine were since we brought her home, and how she became dependent on me being next to her in order to go to sleep.  Overall it has caused a lot of stress and unnecessary frustration because bed time success relied heavily on me and could sometimes take up to an hour so I finally decided to get help from a pediatric sleep consultant.

A few weeks ago Carla and I spoke and she gave us our 17 page plan.  It came full of details about what her sleep space should be like, what her naps and day should look like, how to deal with crying at bed time, and what her routine would be going forward.  She also gave me suggestions (with Amazon links) for certain products that might help the process be easier!  The routine she presented wasn't much different than what we were already doing, but we needed to stay committed and consistent with what she was telling us in order for this to be successful.

We began on Saturday May 4th.  Carla and I had our consult that morning and afterwards I dropped Georgia off at my parents and explained the new routine to them.  No more would they be allowed to put her in the car and drive her around til she fell asleep.  I told them that they would have to lay her down in her bed with the lights off, curtains drawn, and leave her by herself.  I explained that they could be in the room with her but the overall goal was for her to go to sleep on her own without anyone in the room.  I left them to be the first ones to start our new routine and she went right to sleep with just a couple minutes of fuss.  That evening also went surprisingly well too!  

We made a few adjustments and our new routine now looks like this in the evenings: 6:00pm dinner, 6:30pm bath, brush teeth, pjs, light reading or playing with no screen time, 7:00pm bed.  It's not much different than what we were doing before, however we did adjust bedtime to be a little earlier and have really tried to stick to the exact times each night to stay consistent.  Joe has been working really late nights so it's been her and I which can sometimes be a little challenging but overall we got it down pretty well.

Every day we have had success.  We are just about a month in and I cannot believe how well it has gone since day 1.  Georgia is now comfortable laying down in her bed with her blanket and binky without me.  I usually give her a kiss and a hug when she lays down.  I started off by sitting at the side of her bed for a few nights, then to her rocker, then at the doorway, and now I just lay her down and walk out.  I started to tell her I was going to put Frank (our pug) in his bed (which is in our bed, he can't jump up into it) and leave the room for a few minutes.  That was how I began getting myself out of the room before she was asleep.  If she started calling for me or crying I'd stand in the door and make my presence known but never get in or near her bed.  For the first few days I sat right next to her bed, I'd hold her hand, rub her back, tell her I was there but I couldn't get in bed with her.  She'd pat the pillow next to her and say "mama come-me" and I'd tell her I couldn't but I was right there.  It was hard, and it still is some times because I love to snuggle her but it's better for ALL of us.  After a couple days right at her bed side I moved back to the end of her bed, and then a few days later into her rocker, then to the door.  I spent a few days in each spot until I eventually was able to leave her.  

Don't get me wrong there have been some tough nights.  There were some nights she went to sleep in literal minutes and then there were some nights that took 30-60 minutes.  The first night I had to use the timer for the 2 minute intervals of crying, that was the only time I had to do that.  There were a few other nights of some pretty good cries, there were some nights of her asking "where'd mommy go" over and over and over; it was not easy but I was 100% committed.  The going to sleep part for her she got really good at.  She is doing very well with just being laid down in her bed with her blankie & binky, giving a hug and kiss, and turning the lights out.  It's truly amazing.  

The bigger struggle is sleeping through the night.  She was notorious for waking up in the middle of the night and coming into our room.  I'd pick her up and put her in our bed and she'd sleep soundly til morning.  We didn't mind.  We bed shared with her for so long and still love having her in our bed, but it was a habit I had to change and it was hard for both of us.  Every time she wakes in the middle of the night and comes into our room I pick her up and put her back in her bed.  It's tough sometimes getting woken up from a dead sleep and having to get my ass out of bed to put her back but she's been getting better with this too and being able to get herself back to sleep on her own rather than getting out of bed.  We also recently added a bed rail which seems to help keep her in her bed.

For naps she's also doing really well.  At grandma and grandpas (my parents) she now goes to sleep on her twin size floor bed, they have black out curtains as well and have been successful at putting her in bed and letting her put herself to sleep.  At daycare the other two days she has never had any issues going down on her own as that is what she has almost always done since I started taking her there at two months.

For the first two weeks, Carla checks in every morning and she gives some general tips or praise which is really nice.  It was great that she touched base daily and reminded me on some of the harder days that what we are doing is normal and fine.  One Friday morning I had a moment of weakness and let her back in our bed around 4:30am after about 2 hours of her being awake.  She came into our room a few times and I tried to put her back into her bed but she got herself worked up and upset about having to lay down.  Eventually I ended up asleep (or trying to sleep) in the rocker but she never did go back to sleep and continued to try to get out of her bed.  I was exhausted and tired from fighting her so I brought her into our room and she fell right to sleep.  Carla explained that they do sometimes experience a regression and that she is starting to figure out the change and possibly trying to fight it.  It all made a lot of sense and I was really glad that she reassured me that what I did was not the end of the world.  The key to all of this working is consistency so allowing her into our bed was not the best choice, but mama also needed her sleep too. 

Transitioning kids is hard.  Whether it’s a big thing or a little thing, they sure do like and prefer routine (at least my kid does) so making big changes like this all at once seemed pretty daunting to me.  I knew she could do it but I also felt bad putting too much on her at once.  Changing bed time around and taking the binky away for the majority of her day seemed like a lot for her to handle but she's done really really well.  Kids are so resilient, it's amazing.  I know our next big one after we master this bedtime thing will be potty training which we failed at earlier this year. 

I can't even being to tell you guys how much this has changed our lives for the better.  I know it sounds corny and kind of extreme but you if you've struggled at bed time (which I know so many parents have) then you know what I mean when I talk about being frustrated and angry at bed time.  I absolutely HATED going to bed in a bad mood all the time, annoyed and irritated and exhausted from laying in a dark room on a bed with black out curtains, sleepy oils, and white noise.  I felt like the little time I could get for me at the end of the day I was so tired all I wanted to do was just crawl in bed.  Now I am able to sit here and blog for awhile, I started watching a new series (not one that I have watched over and over again) because I actually have time to sit down and enjoy a little adult TV.  It's amazing and overall I feel a huge relief and weight off my shoulders in the evenings.  

What I love about Carla is that she understands that sometimes life happens & that it's not the end of the world if things don't go exactly as planned but she also really tries to reinforce how much commitment it takes on the part of the parents.  Consistency is key and for the first two weeks you may have to adjust some things, say no to certain things, cut things short, etc. in order to make it work but I will say it is SOOO worth it.  I seriously never thought that we would be able to get out of the habits we were in.  I didn't know where to start, I felt I was trapped in that situation and that I would just have to wait for Georgia to grow out of it which she probably wouldn't have done for a few years honestly.  Once again social media proved its worth to me with this random chance encounter I had with Carla.  

If you are at all struggling, even in the slightest bit, reach out to Carla and give yourself and your family some peace.  It is well worth it.  She offers a free 15 minute consultation where you can chat with her and get some initial overall ideas of what she offers and what she suggests.  I know a few of my followers have reached out to her already and have began their own new sleep routines. 

Here's some great info shared by Carla herself regarding sleep:

HOW MUCH SLEEP DOES MY BABY NEED?

I often get asked how much sleep a baby needs, but there is no clear cut

answer. Just as adults need different amounts of sleep to function well,

babies and toddlers need different amounts as well. However, we can use

guidelines based on age to help regulate their sleep needs and make sure

no one is over tired or under tired.

For example, a 6 month old baby needs about 10 hours of sleep overnight.

It is important that naps are taken regularly during the day, and should

account for up to 4 - 5 additional hours of sleep.

Cat naps are not considered naps; babies and toddlers need their naps for

healthy growth and development. If your baby doesn’t nap regularly, it is

important to teach him/her how to connect sleep cycles so sleep is not

interrupted. If a baby does not know how to connect sleep cycles, or uses a

sleep prop, they will wake often during the night, might wake too early in

the morning, and naps will not be consistent.

Another important factor to teach your baby and toddler healthy sleep

habits is to set up a safe sleep environment for all sleep. If you use the

same place for each nap and overnight sleep, your baby and toddler will

start to associate this space for sleep and it will be a happy place for them.

This will also help to alleviate bedtime struggles. Your family will start to

look at bedtime as night’s beginning, rather than day’s end. This will make

bedtime a fun experience to look forward to, rather than dread.

Toddler’s sleep needs are different from a baby’s sleep needs. At 2 years

old, toddlers still need a solid nap of 2 - 3 hours in the middle of the day so

they can recharge their energy. Their overnight sleep should be around 11

or 12 hours, depending on how long their nap is.

By 3 to 4 years old, toddlers will drop their daytime nap, so a consistent

bedtime routine and appropriate bedtime is very important. No one wants

an overtired toddler running around until all hours of the night!

Establishing a healthy bedtime routine and safe sleep space, for naps as

well as night time sleep, teaches babies how to fall asleep independently

and stay asleep. Studies have shown that proper amounts of sleep help

with learning and brain development. Healthy sleep habits and routines will

teach them independence and restful sleep which they will carry into

adulthood. In return, you will have peace of mind while your child is

sleeping and get some well deserved rest, too.

If you have any questions about your baby’s or toddler’s sleep habits and

routines, or have any sleep challenges, I am happy to discuss them with

you. I am confident we can get everyone on a healthy sleep routine.

Sweet Dreams!

-Carla

carla@slumberlandsolutions.com