Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Postponing...again

Well, we decided yet again to delay our next embryo transfer that was scheduled to happen basically now.  If you guys recall I had a slight delay because of my body breaking through the suppression hormones where the Lupron that I was on that shut down my hormones wasn't able to stop by body from producing a follicle which in turn caused my lining to thicken when we actually wanted it to thin down to about 5mm.  After it thinned down I would start estrogen pills daily to build the lining back up, but unfortunately that follicle was found to be our culprit. 

Basically what I decided to do was to stop the Lupron, wait for a period to start & then start over again.  I was in the midst of this on the verge of my period when Georgia and I hit a very large buck in my car on Friday October 18th & my car ended up being totaled.  Luckily we were both OK, but it was at 6am, in the pitch black out in the country out by our house.  Both my air bag and the side curtain airbags deployed which was extremely scary.  Georgia is still recanting the story over and over each day so it clearly somewhat traumatized her.  The next day I was extremely sore and of course my period started.  It was in that moment that Joe and I had a hard talk about the necessity of the transfer at this point in time.  Although it took everything in me to get myself to the point of being ready to finally transfer after almost a year, we both felt in our hearts and guts that it was best to just wait.  We weren't stopping mid-cycle or anything like that so the timing was perfect but we did have to make a decision pretty quickly but we both felt it was for the best.  

I texted my doctor that weekend and explained and she was extremely understanding of our feelings which was so helpful.  We feel like we should get through the holidays and then transfer early next year, I'm hopeful for January.  Part of me wishes that we had still moved forward but my gut told me it was best.  Not only was this cycle not going smooth, but Georgia had been battling a UTI for two weeks + a fever, she had been at the doctor twice, there was a lot of stress around our drywall business, and then I hit the deer.  Things just seemed to be piling up and we were both so unbelievably stressed.  I didn't want to go into the transfer being as stressed as I was.  

At this point the storm has seemed to calm; Georgia is feeling better and for now is healthy, I got a new car, and the stress of running our own business isn't as bad at the moment.  Sometimes when I think about it I think to myself, such is life--there will never be a perfect time with no stress and nothing going on, I realize that, but there will be a better time, a time when things are a little more settled & I think right after the holidays, first of the year will be exponentially better for us.  We are so excited for Christmas this year & all of the festivities that we will get to enjoy with Georgia.  It will be soo magical.  She's been talking about Santa and presents, and cutting down a tree for a month now so when the season begins (which isn't allowed in our house til after Thanksgiving) I know she's going to be soo excited and fun!

These decisions are never easy, but from years of being infertile, we've made harder ones for sure.  I'm not sure why it has taken us so long to do this transfer--life, being a parent, healing, work, starting our own business, etc. I'm sure are some of the big reasons why but also fear of it not working again too.  As always we have gotten so much support for every decision we have made on this journey from our family, friends, and family and we appreciate it so much!

4 comments:

  1. I think if you go with your gut feeling you can't go wrong. I am so sorry to hear ya'll were in a wreck, so scary especially with a little one. Since our house flooded during Imelda Bowen is always asking if other peoples houses flooded. These little ones seem to remember these things for a long time!

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    or
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  4. I'm glad you can feel at peace with this decision, friend. It's not easy. I'm glad things are settling down for you and hope you have a fantastic Christmas with your little love!

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