Friday, October 03, 2014

Your attitude determines your direction


A friend sent me this a couple weeks ago and it couldn't be more accurate!  Not only for the infertility aspect of my life, but in all aspects where I might be struggling.  I've always been a believer in positive attitude=positive outcome.  I saw this first hand when a friend of my dove off the back of a boat into the Illinois River and broke his neck.  He was paralyzed and he put up such a fight and had such a great attitude about his recovery, he kicked ass and progressed amazingly.  We were only in our late teens when this happened and it was truly inspiring.  While recovering after our motorcycle accident, I thought of him often, and remembered that I needed to keep up my attitude as I spent 8 months in physical therapy. 

Having a positive attitude has just come naturally to me throughout infertility treatment, and I try to let my positivity shine through in my posts as much as I can.  I think I do a pretty good job of that because I get lots of comments about it and I feel as though my readers can really see how optimistic I try to be about the whole process.  It can certainly be a challenge at times, but I feel as though it is absolutely necessary in order to survive the heartache that undoubtedly accompanies infertility. 

If you didn't read the TTC Sisters interview with Dreaming of Dimples, then you should.  Something she mentioned I feel I am really starting to understand, and that’s that the more failure you have, the harder it will be to climb the proverbial emotional roller coaster of infertility back up to the high points.  Skepticism will start to take the place of conviction.  When you first start down the path you think there is no way that the first IUI won’t work, I mean, why wouldn't it?  Then you get that first BFN and you think, ok, maybe a second, and then you’re on to another one, or considering IVF and you can’t help but think that it might never work and that failure is the norm.  You expect your beta to be negative, and it’s really very sad.  This has undeniably been the biggest challenge for me so far.  I’m having a harder time than ever bouncing back, but being aware of the fact that I’m struggling is helping me to change my attitude.

I am pushing myself to feel confident and positive again.  I’m pushing myself to feel conviction rather than skepticism about this next transfer.  Hearing Dr. G’s confidence and the confidence from my support system is what helps push me even harder.  I am reminding myself of how badly we want this and picturing what it will be like to finally get a positive, how will I share the news with family, how will we react, what will I look like pregnant, what will our baby look like… all of the happy and positive things that I can possibly fathom in order to recharge my batteries and get my attitude where it needs to be.

Here's the plan for FET #3.  I've been on BCP since Sept 20th and will continue that until October 17th.  I start Lupron injections on Oct 14th which I'll continue to take for about 19 days. Lupron is what builds my lining for embryo implantation.  My baseline ultrasound is October 21st and my 3rd transfer will be Nov 11, or 11/11.  I'm really hoping that there might be some significance or maybe a little extra luck on that day for us!  My goal this time is to absolutely convince myself that it WILL WORK and try my hardest not to let negativity and skepticism come crawling in to discourage me.  I don't want to expect a negative, I want to expect a positive.  I've got 39 more days til our transfer, just enough time to get my attitude whipped into shape and be ready to see two pink lines!



16 comments:

  1. You've got this! Optimism is hard sometimes. We're having a rough week in which I'll post about soon but even so I'm trying to find the goodness in everything.

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  2. my ex boss used to say to me 'your attitude determines your altitude' which i loved in both work & life. it is so true. i think everyone needs to be a little more positive, and it's hard to keep at it when life keeps shooting you down. but you couldn't be more right - my fingers and toes are crossed for you! have a great weekend :)

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  3. I love this!! I think it's incredibly true in the sense that we really are in control of our attitudes and feelings - sure people can put a dent in our days, but it's up to ourselves to not let it affect us!! I'm really praying for you and hoping that this is your time!! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

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  4. I know you got this. And I feel it in my heart that this is it. Like I said third try on third anniversary I'm sure you'll have a good reason to thank God on thanksgiving. Praying for you as always!

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  5. Come on 11/11! I totally agree with this. Every day we have the choice to make our attitude positive or negative - the choice is COMPLETELY up to us - so thankful for people like you to choose a positive attitude :)

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  6. I couldn't have said it better and you're a perfect example of a strong, determined, and positive woman ♥ You got this, your FET will be here before you know it!

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  7. Yay, the date is set! How fun would it be to be pregnant heading into the holidays!!! I will keep praying for you!!

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  8. It's so true that we almost learn to accept that it's not going to work. It can be such an emotional roller coaster that convincing yourself it didn't work can almost seem easier than hoping it did, and getting another negative result. I am with you on trying to piece my attitude back together! I'm sending good thoughts your way and hopeful that you have success in this next round.

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  9. How cool would it be if we get our BFP's around the same time! :) eeeek! Let's stay positive! Happy Friday Hun!

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  10. I'm praying for you lady! I've said it a million times, but it WILL happen. In the meantime...you've got SO Much to look forward to!

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  11. I LOVE this post so much. I know I wouldn't be where I am at today if I lost my positive attitude through the years of infertility.

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  12. I'm so glad you're starting to feel hopeful. It is so hard after disappointments. Thinking of you and hoping this cycle is it. Hugs!

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  13. Girlfriend, you are seriously amazing!!! I am rooting for you so hard! Your payoff is going to be amazing!! Love and prayers to you <3

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  14. First of all, my lucky number is 11 and 11/11 is probably the best day ever! I have faith and I'm sending all my luck that day to you!!! I believe in you that you can find positivity and confidence followed by the most important factor - success!

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  15. Optimism is so hard to keep going on the lowest days, but here's hoping a positive attitude = a BFP! I'm having FET next week and this is a great reminder to me to stay hopeful.

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  16. Fingers crossed for you!!

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