A big ball of emotions...

1 WEEK from tomorrow we leave for Georgia for our first consultation for DEIVF!  This is the first of many steps to take before we can actually even start a cycle.  I don’t have too much worry about this first appointment, I am nervous but I get a lot of anxiety about travel (I hate planes) and I don’t think that will wash away until we are settling in at the hotel, or maybe once we board the plan and I order a beer!

Our first day in Georgia will be mostly full of travel.  Our flight leaves from Chicago at noon and arrives in Atlanta at 3.  We then have to take a rental car about 2.5 hours to Augusta.  I imagine by the time we get off the plane, get our luggage, get our car, get on the road, and get to the hotel it will be close to 7pm.  I’m sure we will be exhausted and probably starving by that time so I’m hoping for some local cuisine at a casual place where we can relax with a cocktail & Joe can enjoy some seafood.  Our donor Amy’s son is turning 1 and they are having a birthday party Saturday so we probably won’t get a chance to meet her until Sunday.

On Sunday we plan to meet Amy and her family and I cannot wait!  From the sounds of things so far via texting, her husband sounds a lot like Joe and I think they will get along well.  I can’t wait to meet her daughter and her son as well.  We are going to take the day and drive to Columbia which I think is about an hour away from Augusta and go to the children’s museum and the zoo, and Melting Pot for dinner.  I have never been to one but Amy has been talking it up and sending me pictures of her rice crispies and strawberries dipped in chocolate.  I’m really looking forward to a day of fun with her and her family.

Finally Monday is the day of our appointment.  We go at 9:30.  I’m excited to meet the doctor and the staff that I’ve been communicating with through email these last several weeks.  It sounds like we will have a sit down with the doctor, an exam, and then Joe will have to give a sample.  That’s typically the process for a consultation.  We may also have some blood work done.  Once we finally have our appointment we will be able to get Amy scheduled for her first consultation, exam, & bloodwork.  She will have infectious disease & genetic testing done.  I don’t have any doubt that she will pass all of her tests and qualify as our donor. 

Based on how the clinic runs their IVF cycles, I’m really hoping we can start in mid-late April.  I’d really love to have my transfer by May if possible, but of course that will depend on a multitude of things.  We also have to have our legal contract written up and signed but we won’t be doing that until we know that Amy will be able to donate to us. 

There are a lot of steps and hurdles that we have to jump before we can start a cycle, but I am excited to finally get the ball rolling.  I’m also a big ball of nerves because I know that the road of infertility treatment is coming close to an end.  We have tried so many things for so many years and I don’t know what we will do if for some reason this didn’t work.  I try not to get too far ahead of myself and really feel like this will be our answer, but I’ve thought that many many times before only to be left broken hearted with no baby in my arms.  I do have a renewed sense of optimism about this because this is something we have never tried before and I am confident that we will end up with some really good quality embryos for transfer, something I haven’t been able to produce our last 2 fresh cycles. 

I never in a million years thought that it was going to take this much effort and this much grit to produce a child.  I never in a million years thought that there would be a third party involved in making a baby.  I was very naïve to think that Joe and I would make our baby in our own bed in the way that so many have the pleasure of doing.  But from all that we have been through, the road we have been down, the heart break we have experienced, the perseverance we have shown, I don’t think there’s a baby born that will be as wanted as ours (in reality, of course there is, but I can say that if I want) or as loved as ours will be. 

I am so thankful to first of all, my husband for going along with all of this, he always has my best interest and my feelings very well protected and is always just wanting me to be happy.  Second, our donor, I will owe her so much for the rest of my life for doing this for us and she doesn’t want a thing for it except for it to work for us.  She is a true blessing.  And third, my family, friends, and all of you who continue to support us and root for us for all of this time; we would never get through all of this madness if it wasn’t for all of your love.