Tuesday, April 29, 2014

An Infertile & a Newborn

There's a lot more to beating infertility than just getting pregnant. To me, small victories just bring me one step cloer to winning this battle. I think I overcame one of my biggest hurdles last week when I met the newest member of the clan, baby Jase. One of my closest friends Jen had her first baby last Thursday and boy is he perfect. We welcomed Jase David Keegan, 8lbs 1oz. into the world seven days late. Although I probably “know” like one million pregnant people, I’m not close with hardly any of them. This is the first time that I went to the hospital and held a brand new baby since we’ve been treating for infertility.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of kids in our lives. Most of our friends and family have kids. My best friend Jodie had her first baby when we were just 19 years old, followed by her second a year later and is expecting again. Most of the people in our social circle have young kids and babies; in fact, we are probably the minority without kids in our group of friends. But this was a new first for me as an infertile.

I honestly had no clue how I would feel about meeting a new baby. I knew that I was so excited to meet him and see my best friend with her first child, but I didn’t know how I would feel inside, would I be jealous or upset? I really didn’t think so, but you really never know until you experience it how you will truly feel.

Luckily I feel like the farther I get on this path, the more welcoming I am of things like this. I have a better understanding of my journey and am more secure with what is to come in our future. I think a year ago things were so up in the air, there were so many uncertainties, I had so many insecurities and unanswered questions that I struggled with things like this. I didn’t know how to handle it; people didn’t know much about what we were going through so they didn’t understand. I feel like I have evolved over the 8 months that we’ve truly been treating for infertility. Prior to being referred to Dr. G and being “diagnosed” we just assumed that we were having infertility issues since we couldn’t get pregnant. We really had no idea. There were a lot of tears and fights that I wasn’t sure were justified or not. It was a scary time. I wasn’t sure how to have a conversation with my own husband about the situation, we were on two different pages about things, and there was a lot of internal struggle for a long time for me. It’s amazing how far we have come.

Of course the minute I laid eyes on baby Jase I was just in love with him. He is so precious and perfect. I held him for a long while and he was so calm, he didn’t make a peep, just a whole bunch of funny faces. I can say, with true sincerity and honesty that I am beyond happy for my best friend and her husband. I get excited to visit with them, I was so happy to make them a home-cooked meal and deliver it yesterday. I’m happy that I am able to do the things that a best friend should do without letting my infertility get in the way. I can’t wait to see this little guy grow up. I’m excited that we have a new member of the tribe, and hopefully our babies can all grow up together and become as good of friends as we have become. There are so many downsides to infertility that being able to say that you’ve overcome even just a small part of it feels amazing.

Welcome to the world Jase!


  1. You are such a strong woman & a positive one! Jase's mom is lucky to have you as a friend! Welcome to the world, baby Jase!

  2. So sweet that you got to meet Jase - Glad those feelings of happiness rose up - the bitterness etc is everything the enemy wants!!

  3. This is just too sweet!! I had the same opportunity when my SIL had her baby last year. Honestly there was no jealousy at all seeing him the day he was born and I so enjoy that sweet baby to this day. I will admit when we heard she was expecting (it wasn't planned) I was jealous but after I got over it I wasn't ever jealous again :)

  4. Your positivity and outlook on life, and all of its situations is beyond refreshing. I hope meeting this little baby gives your body the endorphins and oompf it needs during the next round :)

  5. This post just made me so happy! I'm telling you girl having that positive energy and outlook will hopefully bring positive energy back to you. Definitely thinking about you and congratulations to your friend and her precious Jase!

  6. That's such wonderful news! I'm so glad you were able to be there for your friend and get to hold her new little baby. You have such a sweet spirit; I just know you will be blessed with your own sweet baby soon.

  7. You are such a breath of fresh air Elena. You have the best view on your situation and struggles, and are showing your strength by being so positive. You deserve everything you have ever wanted, and you will get it.

  8. so happy for you girlie :)


  9. You truly have an amazing outlook! Both of my sister-in-law's fell pregnant while I was struggling with infertility, and while I was extremely happy for them it was also emotional for me. Thinking about you today!

  10. I’m sure your husband is so proud of you! I can only imagine how unexpected it was to welcome baby Jase, as you were struggling with infertility. Just follow your doctor’s instructions, complete all the necessary tests, and keep your faith. Your new family will come at the right time. God luck! :)

    Adam Heller


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