Monday, March 30, 2015

Biopsy Results... Another Hurdle


I called to doctors office today to tell them that that I received the Lupron Depot and hoped that I would be scheduling my appointment to have that administered in the next couple weeks.  In the mean time I asked if my results were in and she said no, but then put me on hold to schedule the Lupron shot and then told me that my results had in fact come in and that they were "positive".  My initial thought was that "positive" meant that I tested "positive" for the Beta-3 Integrin a protein that is said to be one of the key proteins for adhesion of embryos, but her response was now we know what the problem is... 

So I continued to say, "so I don't have the protein" and she said "no, and the problem is, is that the protocol for this particular protein is a 3 month prep, meaning no IVF until July"... my heart immediately sank.  I would have to take an oral protocol for the next 3 months in order to introduce this missing protein into my system.  Needless to say, I ended the conversation with her a bit confused; why did she use the word "positive" and why have I had implantation before if I don't have the protein?   These are clearly 2 questions for my doctor and luckily I have an appointment this Wednesday at 9am to hopefully get some of these answers.  But thanks to Dr. Google, here is what I've found so far:

Failure to express this protein appropriately has been theorized to be a cause of unexplained implantation failure. Why some women do not produce beta-3 integrins is usually unknown. However, some proposed causes include presence of blocked fallopian tubes filled with inflammatory fluid, endometriosis, and poor progesterone production. {via}

As you can read, what this is basically saying is that lack of this protein can be the cause of unexplained implantation failure (could be why all 3 of my IVF cycles failed) and a proposed cause is enodmetriosis (what I have been diagnosed with, Stage II).  I don't have blocked tubes and I don't have poor progesterone production so I am assuming that my endo the probable cause to this deficiency.  From what I'm reading online, the 3 month prep will be Letrozole possibly followed by another biopsy.  This of course is another question for my doctor on Wednesday, but you bet your ass I'll be researching as much as possible the next couple days.

All I can seem to do is remind myself, once again, of my own advice... this process takes time.  I'm not sure why I'm having such a hard time grasping that.  Maybe it's because we've been on such a long break and I know I am so ready to move forward.  I am happy that we are ruling things out and doing more testing, but at the same time I have to wonder, why when I brought this up to my other doctor did he not seem concerned?  Why have I had implantation before?  Why can't I seem to catch a break when it comes to infertility treatment?  

I know that we are all more than familiar with the hurdles, the set backs, and the let downs that come with infertility treatment.  We are always waiting for something.  For a cyst to go away, for AF to show, for two weeks to pass, for a blood work to be done.  It's nothing but a waiting game and it really is exhausting.  I can tell myself, oh well, July will be better because I'll be pretty settled into the house and I can enjoy summer and we can take some bike trips, and yada yada about trying to make it make perfect sense as to why waiting another 3 months is for the best, but honestly there is never going to be a perfect time and the longer I have to wait, the more it seems so far out of reach and the more time I have to question if this is ever going to be possible for us.  

I continually have to remind myself that this isn't a race, it's not a game, there isn't a deadline, I'm not in competition with anyone, etc. etc. I am just so ready for this to just happen for us.  As discouraged as I am right now, I am happy that we could have possibly found a reason to our issues, but I am also sick of jumping hurdles.  I know that this path isn't straight and narrow for anyone.  Even those who get their BFP on their first cycle still have to endure things not working out as they want them.  As a person who appreciates a plan, a  person with little patience, a person who craves instant gratification, a person who has wanted this for 3 and a 1/2 years, I hate that I have no control over this.  

I guess I'll find out more on Wednesday and be sure to update. 

20 comments:

  1. Sounds like you are armed & ready for your appt. I'm sure the moment is bittersweet... Nice to have a potential answer for all your failed attempts, but more knowledge moving forward! I hope your Dr. has encouraging words for you and am amIng plan moving forward!

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  2. I'm sorry girl. I'm glad you're getting answers though, even if it's not great news. You're on the right track it seems and good things are coming.

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  3. Im so sorry to hear about this. It all seems so confusing, especially with the nurse's explanation. I know you'll be able to find good information online and also with your doctor at the next appointment. We are all cheering for you. Looking forward to a positive update. <3 *hugs*

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  4. Bummer. I know you were so ready to move forward with this cycle but now you have a big answer to why your other IVF's have been unsuccessful. July will be here before you know it! Hugs!

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  5. These results kind of seem promising since they now know what the problem is. As for why your previous doctor wasn't concerned, that is just the way some doctors are. I'm not trying to get pregnant yet but I'm going through/ have been going through a long health diagnosis journey trying to figure out what is wrong with me and my first two doctors only did a blood test and then just gave me a possible diagnosis with no "treatment" plan. My new doctor has been running all sorts of tests to rule things out and after he gives me a diagnosis, he wants to come up with a plan so that at least I have some good days.

    http://dogmomchic.blogspot.com/

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  6. I'm glad it seems that this Dr. is starting to figure more things out for you than you previously knew. Praying this is a step in the right direction to everything working out perfectly for you guys.

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  7. If I have learned anything from infertility it is that God's timing is always perfect. You can imagine it because it doesn't fit your timeline. But I promise when it finally works you will look back and realize it happened exactly when it should. I think this is great news (I know it doesn't feel that way right now), but your Dr. is gaining wisdom about your specific condition and that can only help them diagnose and ultimately get you pregnant! You will continue to be in my prayers!

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  8. Know that I'm thinking about you during this journey. I can imagine the letdown that you are feeling right now knowing that you have to put everything on hold for a few more months, but it is also great that your new doctor found an issue that no one knew existed before now. It seems like your doctor is very thorough. I know that he is going to help make your dreams a reality!

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  9. I am so sorry that you hit another road block. I have learned throughout my own process that we aren't in control of when things will happen. I am going on almost my fourth year trying and we still don't know if it will work out. I am praying for you!

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  10. Pretty girl, July will be here before you know it. Especially since you are working on the house, I'm sure that'll keep you super busy, and before you know it, it'll be time!! prayers as you continue on your journey.

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  11. I wish I could speed up this process for u dear friend but I can't. July might seem like a long wait BUT as u listed the pros above u will be settled in ur new home. That's always a plus since it means less stress on ur plate. Enjoy ur summer before u jump into another cycle. I'm praying this treatment is the answer and ur little ones can snuggle up inside of ur womb. I know in my heart u will be a momma and the Lord is lining up everything for u so u can have a successful/ non complicated pregnancy. Always thinking of u!

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  12. On a positive note, you have done research and see what the possible implications of this protein are. I know the whole "hurry up to wait" tends to get old quickly, but you can do this and you want to go into a cycle with the best possible chances of success.

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  14. Girl I am so sorry for the not so great news. But like you always say we gotta keep ours heads up, no negativity. July will be here before you know it, and IVF will begin. It will be great that you will be settled into your home, that will be one less stress you both have to worry about, and you'll get to bring baby into a completely finished and GORGEOUS dream home :)

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  15. I'm so sorry hun. I hate the waiting game. I just got done with my 2 weeks of taking BCP to have 2 cysts go away. I just now started taking Femara and tonight I start Bravelle injections. I know that July is a long way from now, but keep yourself busy with your beautiful home, go on a trip, enjoy everyday and I know July will be here in a blink of an eye. Stay strong and stay positive. I wish I could live closer to you so we could keep each other busy and entertained. Lots of love <3

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  16. I'm sorry. I know it's such a let down when things don't go as planned. But like you said, this could explain the reason for the failed IVFs. An extra three months of treatment vs. another failed cycle isn't such a bad deal. I hope the doctor is able to explain everything better than the nurse was.

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  17. Thinking of you and thanks for updating! You are right and have such a good attitude! It's not a race or a game or anything like that. I think this definitely brings you ONE step closer to holding your baby in your arms!!! xoxo

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  18. This waiting game just keeps going sometimes...ugh! It's great that you are keeping a good idea, I just know it will pay off!!

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  19. Knowing you, you will be so prepared for your appointment! Sending you good thoughts! You're such a positive person through all this and I know getting knocked down each time isn't good for the soul! Hopefully THIS was the one thing keeping you from your baby! Prayers being sent, friend!

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  20. The things you wait the longest for end up being the best gifts in life. It sucks you keep running into hurdles but I'm really happy this Dr is actually finding out what the hurdles are and working to overcome them instead of just doing the procedure with no results! Even though the path is longer than anticipated, at least you're on the right path!

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