Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Never Give Up

Well, here we are, cycle day 43.  This is the longest cycle I've ever had, and honestly, I’m getting sick of it. Props to you women who endure months without AF showing up.   It seems crazy to want a period, but until it comes, there is no moving forward, especially in the world of infertility.  There are so many women out there waiting for a period, or waiting for ovulation, only to have those things never show.  I consider myself blessed that I've never had that problem, I've always been regular and never had a problem ovulating so this prolonged cycle is foreign to me.

I've been having slight cramping, fatigue, headache, the usual, but yesterday my doc started me on Provera which is progesterone to help my cycle along.  Remember, we thought AF would be here on Feb 25th and we realized I had actually just ovulated so the date was changed to March 11th.  No sign of her, hence the progesterone.   Here is where it gets tricky for me.  Since I've already started having symptoms, they told me I can wait to start the Provera to see if I start on my own.  Your period will begin when your body starts to have a decrease in progesterone so if I start taking the Provera, I could be working backwards… (head is starting to spin at this point).  So what I've decided to do is hold off on the meds until Monday.  If I don’t start by then, I will begin taking the pills (I'll spare you the details on how these pills are taken!) for 10 days.  My period could start any time between the end of the 10 days, up to 2 weeks after I've finished taking them.  So in a nutshell, this cycle has the potential of being roughly 70 days. OMFG!

It's a challenge not to be discouraged.  After realizing what my body has endured and is continuing to endure on this journey, I can’t believe I haven’t killed anyone for something as simple as, let’s say... looking at me wrong.  Hormone after hormone being pumped in, I've been really lucky that I've been able to stay as emotionally stable as I have.  Don’t get me wrong, there have been a lot of tears shed, a lot of heartaches, a lot of downs, some ups too, but I think I've (or my body) has handled all of the emotional baggage that comes with infertility pretty well. 

So, as usual, we are waiting.  As soon as AF shows up we can schedule our baseline ultrasound and finally move forward with this next, and hopefully last cycle.  I’m going to be as optimistic as I can about this 3rd time.  I’m not going to think about what if it doesn't work, I’m not going to think about IVF, I’m not going to worry myself about those things until it is confirmed that I have to.  I will be busy with the selling one house and building another, the weather will be getting better, I should be able to get through this cycle without too much stress & hopefully finally get a lasting BFP.  Fingers crossed.


  1. Girl praying for you we are at the exact same stage waiting for AF :(

  2. Hang in there! Way to have a positive outlook!

  3. Hang in there lady, it will happen!!!

  4. The waiting truly sucks! I finally got my AF yesterday after a 51 day cycle, eek! Hoping the next one is shorter! Because my cycle is so long, I will probably have to wait a good month and half before I MAY ovulate. Anyways, just know I'm waiting right along with you!

  5. Praying!! So amazed you continue to be strong. Keep on keeping on- it's infectious!!

  6. Praying for you, sweets. I can't imagine how trying this must be for you, though we definitely have a stronger appreciation for it now. Keep the WILL happen!

  7. Thinking of you and hoping AF shows up soon!!


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